When Discomfort Calls... It's Loud!: Working Through Discomfort as a Budding Professional

Recently I have been thinking of ways to stretch myself, and capitalize on this season of transition I'm in. I'm still leaning into my word for the year - space - and am looking for more situations to take ups space. Oddly enough, I'm running into a little bit of a problem... I'm an introvert! I'm one of the warmest, most outgoing, entertaining, introverts you'll ever meet. And this past Thursday, I learned that my least skilled extrovert activity is networking.

APA MFP Grantee Panelists Discuss What MFP has meant for their organizations.

I was excited to hear that the American Psychological Association's Minority Fellowship Program was

celebrating 50 years, and they invited alumni and current fellows down to Maryland to join in on the cake. I wanted to go in person, because who isn't over Zoom, and was hoping a few folx that I know would join, and it would be like a family reunion. Well I got there and everyone was so lovely, and things were so organized. The speakers and the panels and the information was so rich, and to have all these Black and Brown powerhouse minds in the field of psychology all in one place was so inspiring. And then came the lunch time networking hour. We were supposed to connect with those at our table.

I grabbed my lunch, I came back, and I sat there. I ont know where my table mates went. Well, I do know - one joined another table and the others never came back until way after lunch. As I sat there seasoning my bulgogi bowl I thought, should I move to another table? Which one, folx are already deep in conversation. I don't know anyone, and what do I say? It was in that moment I realized that I never really had to network in a completely new space before. I always had at least one person, or a group to help bridge the gap and forge a connection. Not this time. As I sat there wondering if someone would approach me, I thought about what I might do about it. Will this be an area I want to change, or grow? Would this be the moment? Ultimately, I decided to sit in the discomfort by myself. I decided that a break from the stimulation of the day, and being on would be good, and I'd use the time to think about how I'd approach the next opportunity later that day - the fellow poster sessions.

Fellow Jasmin Brooks discusses her work around racism-related depression within Black families.

When the time came, I grabbed my business cards, identified the posters I really wanted to hear more about, and set out on a mission. I leaned in, I asked questions, provided encouragement, and even laughed a bit! I held tightly to my cards as an anchor when others jumped into conversations ahead of me, or asked really good thought provoking questions after my simple clarifying one.

Fellow Vashti Adams discusses her work around perceptions of health among Black women and the Health at Every Size perspective

What's interesting too, is as I moved around, making eye contact with folx, my outfit became the introductory comment. "Oh, I love your kimono!" gave me an in. "Thank you kindly! I love your shoes. How are you connected to MFP?" Then I thought to myself, oh I can do that! Suddenly, I was complementing and connecting with people left and right. I realized I didn't have to have the perfect opening sentence, just a communication of my desire to connect. I was pleasantly surprised at how a little fashion could facilitate that.

APA MFP Fellow Erika M. Dawkins at the 50th Anniversary celebration in Rockville, MD.

I know that my discomfort around networking and talking to strangers, hell even on the interwebs, is something I want to get better at, make space for, that I'm working through. It was shouting at me like, "Here, pick me to tackle next!" As part of my journey to 37, I'm thinking I'll create more opportunities for me to put my money where my mouth is.

I'd love to hear how you manage discomfort or uncomfortable situations. Where all my outgoing introverts at?! Any tips you have, or insight into how you might manage differently?

Til we meet again!